I lost a loved one a few days ago and it made me think about grief. What better therapy for an artist than creativity…There’s so much more to it than this but I had to put a stop to my wandering mind somewhere.
Grief.
What is it, really?
It’s when you’re going about your everyday life and it suddenly grips you.
A wave out of nowhere.
A sinking feeling in your stomach, like you’ve been punched hard.
It’s smiling one moment and choking up the next,
When a fresh wave of sadness crashes in, uninvited, but familiar.
It’s putting on a brave face for others
While feeling hollow and heavy inside.
It’s telling your friends, “I’m fine,”
Even when you’re anything but.
It’s feeling stuck craving fresh air and distraction,
Yet unable to step out.
It’s the sudden remembering
And the ache that follows.
It’s questioning yourself.
Could I have done something differently?
Even when you know, deep down, this was how it had to be.
It’s doubting yourself,
Seeing only the cracks,
Magnifying every flaw.
It’s staring at your work
And finding it impossible to begin.
You tell yourself you’re too woke to be grieving.
It’s numbing the mind with endless scrolling
And watching show after show,
Grief is a guest.
Uninvited, but here.
A companion who’s settled in for a while.
Maybe it’s okay to sit with this guest.
To pour them tea,
And soak your feet in the puddle of memories.
To let it run its course.
To trust that the guest will eventually leave.
Until then
It’s okay to not be okay.
